Are Vampires Green?

Guest Blog from Liz Jasper:

March 7-13 is go green, read an e-book week. I could spend this time rattling off statistics about the spared trees, reduced pollution, etc. associated with reading e-books. However, while I am concerned about our collective carbon footprint, there are lots of people who have already researched and written about this. (The most comprehensive I've run across is in the June 08 issue of Environmental Science and Technology. If you'd like to run across it:

So what I would really like to know, as an environmentally responsible vampire mystery writer, is this: Are vampires bad for the environment?

Think about it. Unless they have the bad fortune to collide chest first with a sharp stake or (depending on the vampire) step out into a lovely, sunny, existence-ending day, they live forever. Longer than Styrofoam in a landfill. Or Twinkies. Or broccoli on my niece's plate. Which means they probably take up more than their fair share of resources, don't you think?


On the plus side -- and this is a big plus -- they don't eat human food. And if you ever read the statistics about what's trashing our environment, the resources we use to grow food is a big part. There's methane from cattle (a discreet way of saying cow farts) polluting our air, fertilizer polluting our streams, etc. etc. So well done Dracula for getting by on just a wee bit of blood!

Also on the plus side, the undead don't commute. Not in cars anyways. Granted any vampire worth his sex symbol status will own a nice set of wheels, but it's not as if he's stuck in rush-hour traffic every day. No vampire with the least bit of brains would spend an hour or two a day battling road rage on the freeway when he could just turn into a bat and fly where he needs to go. (I assume any technology that would allow him to drive a car during daylight hours could also be used to protect his batty little wings. Excuse me. Very sexy, uber-masculine man-vamp wings.)

This is sounding pretty good for a vampire's carbon footprint, except for the fact that for some vampires, one person equals one meal. Tsk. Tsk. Really, vampires of the world, do you have any idea how much it takes to get a pretty young maiden to eighteen in this country? In purely financial terms, estimates range from $38,027 to $104,532. I have no idea how many McDonald's Happy Meals the average eighteen year old has eaten, but I imagine it's a lot. Think of all the cow farts involved in producing one young maiden. Puberty is one long Fry Emergency.

Those vampires clearly need to hear the eco message of Reduce, Reuse, Recycle. I know. It's hard to hold back when you're hungry. It's like telling a writer to lay off the chocolate near a deadline.

Nonetheless, I say to vampires: Can't you try to be a little more considerate of the environment when you stalk your next victim?

And to readers, especially those who like vampire stories, why not do your part to help the planet and make your next book an ebook!

About Liz Jasper

Liz Jasper is an award-winning vampire mystery author and avid eBook reader, blogging this month for All Romance eBooks' Go Green/Read e Campaign. Find out more about the Go Green/Read e Campaign at To learn more about Liz Jasper and to read excerpts and reviews of her books, visit her website at

You can find Liz Jasper's Underdead mysteries and thousands of other eBooks on-line at

Liz Jasper
Award-winning mystery author


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